This so-called War on Christmas is silly. We all know that, of course—but it’s got me thinking, since we’re so eager for a fight, perhaps we could tackle some more serious complaints? I propose wars on the following:
Any attempt to read when there isn’t enough light
Forgetting something all the way downstairs
The phrase ‘bric-a-brac’
Rectangles, as opposed to oblongs
Skeletons that come alive
The pretence that turkeys and chickens are somehow different
Getting lost in the desert
Fruit that’s secretly, already bruised when you buy it
The act of asking to try someone else’s drink
Woollen pants
Actually, I take it back about bric-a-brac—I wish only for peace in this case.
Happy Holidays!
Here’s the New Yorker’s daily cartoon from December 21st, 2021: